“NBA owners have approved a rules change regarding violations for too many men on the court, closing a loophole that allowed Portland to score on a six-on-five situation earlier this season.
If a team is given a technical foul for having too many players, the non-offending team can choose to accept or nullify the action that took place before the whistle blew. If the team playing with five scores, it can keep the points.”
So what this rule is saying is that if you think your team is better with 5 players than the other team is with more players, you can go ahead and keep playing…until the refs catch on. And if you score, you can keep the points.
Think about the impact of this rule. The NBA would have more parity among teams, and less lopsided wins. This means that the Sacramento Kings could put 8 players on the court, and only lose to the Lakers by 5 points.
Of course, I’m blowing this out of proportion a little bit. Realistically, come on, the Kings would lose by at least 10 points, even if they triple teamed Kobe.
Honestly, if you were an NBA player and you saw that the other team had more than 5 players on the court, it wouldn’t be viewed as a negative. Instead, your competitive fire would kick up and you’d WANT to score on them. You’d see it as a challenge to beat the odds and do more than is expected. Kind of like Madonna adopting her 100th African baby.
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is coming out on August 7, 2009…but who’s counting. It’s not like I have a countdown clock on my computer desktop or something…
Anyways, I just came across these kick ass G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra wallpapers for your computer. Raise your “geek flag” and show it off at home, or even at work. (Heck, this might finally get you on the IT Guy’s good side)
I have to admit, the costumes are a little “modern” for my taste. (Hey, I’m a purist, it’s not my fault). I was just hoping that the costumes had a more “authentic” feel to them.
Why do the uniforms have to look like the Dark Knight meets Mission Impossible meets The Matrix?
I’d be happy with some old school khaki and green. But then Tatum Channing might just look like a member of the Village People.
I do have to give some props to how the movie guys did Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow. I guess out of any of the characters, these 2 had to stay authentic. Could you imagine the uproar of fanboys if Storm Shadow was “updated”? Damn, that would not be a good day.
Here are the wallpapers. Just click on the link for your desktop size and follow the instructions to get your wallpaper.
Ripcord - Not exactly the adaptation everyone was expecting (come on, the cartoon character was an entirely different ethnicity), but we can all expect some great one-liners from Marlon. 1024 x 768 Ripcord Wallpaper 1280 x 1024 Ripcord Wallpaper
For those of you in the Los Angeles area interested in checking out one of my shows, I’ll be performing this Friday, 3/13, at The Comedy Store in West Hollywood. I’ve done a few shows here, and this is one of my favorite spots to perform at. My homie Vargus Mason, who was on Last Comic Standing, is producing the show and will be performing.
I recently experienced one of the most enduring things a man can: a chick flick.
The term “chick flick” is a noun, defined in the dictionary as “torture to the male gender; kryptonite”
Yes, I admit it, I watched a chick flick. The wifey wanted to grab dinner, then watch Confessions of a Shopaholic and I agreed. I believe in the motto: You have to choose your battles wisely.
It was opening weekend, Valentine’s Day weekend, and the theatre was packed with couples celebrating Valentine’s Day and flocks of single women gathered in their “girl-power-I-don’t-need-a-man” posses.
I fell into the group of helpless men dragged against their will to endure 2 hours of whimsical musings of shopping, label whoring, and the necessary pursuit of love.
I sat down and took a quick look around, sharing knowing glances with other guys in my situation. When we made eye contact, we gave each other that defeated, “Al Bundy” look.
We were lambs fed to the lions — lambs that voluntarily entered the den even after hearing the roars of battle (which might easily be confused with anxious “oohs and ahhs” and “click-clacks” of high heels entering the theatre)
Call us lambs, call us Al Bundy. Whatever the case, we were stuck in the seats, firmly planted for the next 2 hours or so without any relief that an ESPN highlight might otherwise provide. (What I would give to see an old school replay of Kevin Johnson’s dunk on Hakeem)
If the movie wasn’t enough, I forgot about the 30 minutes of trailers that shows before each feature. It’s like grabbing a cup of coffee at the office, only to find that the courteous person before you politely left exactly half of cup for you. Sitting through the trailers felt like the 3 minutes of agony watching the pot brew.
The movie finally starts and we were instantly inundated with clothes, shoes, accessories, shops — obviously that’s all that Manhattan has to offer.
But as Shopaholic played along, there were strange noises emanating from the crowd. It was hard to tell, but it sounded like laughter. But it didn’t make sense. The tone of the laughter was too low…it couldn’t have originated from a woman. It had to be a man laughing, unless Kathleen Turner was unexpectedly in the audience.
I turned to see another guy smiling, chuckling, and turning to his partner in agreement of the onscreen happenings. This couldn’t be, because these would be signs of enjoyment. A look of disgust fell over my face, only to be washed away by an involuntary smile of my own. And without hesitation, as a perfectly timed attack on my manhood, a chuckle began to form in my chest whose public escape was only prevented by putting my hand over my mouth.
I was confused, kind of like Michael Jackson stuck in a children’s petting zoo. (get your mind out of the gutter — you pet animals, not kids)
Laughter coming from me? What?!? This couldn’t be! Was I actually entertained by the clever, witty British humor that Shopaholic offered? Or by the finely timed comedic antics of Isla Fisher? Maybe I enjoyed the onscreen chemistry between Fisher and Hugh Dancy (who ironically shares the first name of another actor he will inevitably be compared to).
Nah, don’t be fooled. We might be laughing on the outside, but on the inside we Al Bundy’s know exactly what we’re doing. We do the dinner and movie just for the dessert.
Coolio, at 45, is still rockin’ stages in Europe. Good for him. But not so good when he decided to stage dive into the crowd at a recent concert at Staffordshire University in Stoke-on-Trent, England.
Apparently, the crowd mistook Coolio for a chupacabra and ran for cover as he flew from the stage. Coolio hit the ground, and while down, was robbed of his shoes, bandana, and jewelry.
I don’t know what the main curriculum at Stafforshire University is, but I’m sure that “Jacking 101” is a required course. Or maybe they just decided to channel Robin Hood and steal from the rich. Somewhere in Sherwood Forest, there is a really stylish fox wearing Coolio’s Nikes.
Whatever the case is, we learned a few lessons from this incident:
1. No 45 year old man should attempt to stage dive.
2. Coolio’s security sucks.
3. People still watch Coolio perform?
4. Students in England believe in the chupacabra.
5. Coolio should stick to cooking.
Gotta love Shaq’s persona. Always ready to entertain, and he does during his grand entrance at the 2009 NBA All Star game.
But what’s more impressive is to see the Jabbawockeez blowin’ up! It’s always inspiring to watch the journey of those who are truly dedicated to their passion and art. The crew has endured many obstacles but still soldier on doing what they believe in. I watched these guys on the first season of MTV’s America’s Best Dance Crew and they continue to amaze me. And not just by their talent, but by how grounded they are, too.
How do I know this? I met the crew on one of their tour stops, just bumped into them in the hotel lobby. They were just checking in and seemed busy, but they took the time to chop it up with me and my buddies for a few minutes. Very cool.
I wish Jabbawockeez the best and look forward to seeing them getting more exposure and sharing their talents with the world.
You never know who’ll need some dancers to back them up at Super Bowl 2010.
Picture this. 4 comedians agree to play an unsuspecting game of tag. For 24 hours. Receiving punishment if caught. What could go wrong, right?
This is the premise of an episode of Owarai, a new Japanese variety comedy show on Hulu.com.
I received an email from Erin over at GakiAttack.com(what up Erin!) promoting the launch of Owarai on Hulu.com. Owarai consists of various “channels,” one of which is Gaki, described as the the Japanese version of Jackass.
So when I watched the clip from the 24 hour tag episode, I knew full on what to expect…guys being guys and putting themselves into blatantly masochistic situations our mommas told us not to do. Apparently, this type of action gets you PAID! (I’m sure half of the Jackass salaries went to taking the barbell out of Steve-O’s ass. Steve-O, you’re one tough MOFO!)
Side note: I must be hiding under a rock because I didn’t even know Hulu.com existed before this. There are tons of free videos to watch, including television series and full feature movies. If I go on a sudden “non-productive” streak, I know who to blame. (How did Hulu.com know about my infatuation with Robocop?!? I’ll buy that for a dollar!)
Sorry about that tangent. Back to Owarai. As a fan of Jackass, I was interested in seeing what this Gaki channel was all about. We all remember playing “tag” when we were little. But Owarai took the game to a whole different level.
24 hours. Being chased by an “it.” Receiving punishment if caught. Sounds like a bad S&M experience. But who would sign up for this…or maybe all this was in the “fine” print. (You producers are sneaky, eh? Whatever, it’s good for the ratings!)
You have to watch the clip. I love how unsuspecting these contestants are. They actually seem a little cocky and a bit too casual for what they are going to experience.
But when you watch the first “it” comes out to tag the contestants, you get this “oh sh*t” feeling, kind of like the first time you talked back to your Dad and you saw him reach for the belt. (or Taser in some cases)
What ensues is full of hilarity and random violence, always a great combination. I can’t explain why watching innocent men receive senseless beatings is so damn entertaining. For me, maybe it’s because I knew the “punishments” weren’t really going to inflict severe damage, but just enough to make these guys feel the sting. And their reactions are what brought tears to my eyes.
You can see it in their faces. The whole “fight or flight” instincts kick in, and well, let’s just say they definitely don’t fight. They almost give in and accept what’s coming to them. And that’s the funniest part — watching them attempt to escape, run out of gas, then fall to the ground and take the beating. Classic.
Each “it” comes out with a “punishment” of higher degree that makes you want to keep watching to see what it’s store for the contestants. I have my favorites, and some are just plain sick. Head butting, really?
Sometimes I like to catch a flick and tell everyone what I thought. I’m no film critic, so please excuse me if I don’t speak in “thumbs up, thumbs down” language.
Bottom Line: If you are a fan of B.I.G., you’ll love this film. If you’re a fan of Tupac, you’ll get a glimpse of the rapper that you might not have seen. And if you know nothing about B.I.G. or the world of 90’s rap, this will open your eyes to what was really going on.
Review
If you grew up in 90’s, hearing this should bring back some good memories…”It was all a dream, I used to read Word Up magazine…”
Ah yes, the 90’s, what I consider the Golden Age of rap. You had acts like Tupac, Ice Cube, Dr. Dre, Eazy E, Jay-Z, Nas, Tribe Called Quest, and The Fugees leading the way…trying to patch up the damage done by Vanilla Ice and MC Hammer (btw, love the Cash4Gold commercial w/MC Hammer. Priceless). And of course, Notorious B.I.G., aka Christopher Wallace.
Then, in 1996, the rap world came to a screeching halt with the shooting death of Tupac. Controversy ensued, with the whole East Coast vs. West Coast battle spiraling out of control, ending with the shooting death of Wallace.
That’s how Notorious, the biopic of Wallace’s rise to fame and ultimate untimely passing, starts off. The first scene captures the roller-coaster essence of the film — going from extreme low, to extreme high, and back down again.
What I Liked About the Film
Jamal Woolard. Wow. For a first time performance, he was on point. He might not look exactly like B.I.G., but once he puts on his shades and pin-striped suit, he’s pretty darn close. And if you close your eyes and just listen…man, he’s a dead ringer. Woolard truly embodied B.I.G., nailing the lisp and breathing patterns that so defined B.I.G.
He was probably breathing heavy because of the 30 pounds Woolard put on for the role.
The Music. Obvious aspect, but hearing B.I.G.’s tracks played while his story is told, is what really brought this film together. I wasn’t the only one. I took one look around the theatre and saw everyone’s head bobbing. This spoke volumes about the impact of B.I.G.’s music that is still felt today, or that everyone was having trouble chewing their Milk Duds. And though subtle, the scene where B.I.G. just got out of jail and laid down his first “demo” was one of the most captivating moments of the film. The Story. There are so many questions that are still unanswered about what “really” happened behind the shootings of Tupac and B.I.G. Though the truth may still be uncertain, Notorious does its best to place all the facts on the table. At the very least, Bad Boy’s side of the story is now documented in stone. Who to believe is now up to the viewers.
The film also shows a side of B.I.G. that many probably haven’t seen — his sensitive side. He has been portrayed as a thug drug dealer, but he was much more than that. He was a big man with an ever bigger heart, which is shown when interacting with his mother (with a strong performance by Angela Bassett) and children, especially the part where he tells his daughter that she shouldn’t let any man call her a b*tch. So heartwarming.
What I Didn’t Like
Propaganda. Because Notorious was produced by B.I.G.’s mother and his two managers, and exec produced by Sean Combs the film was very biased. It almost felt like Notorious was a vehicle to exonerate B.I.G. from any foul play related to Tupac’s shooting. The film almost goes out of its way to show how bad B.I.G. felt and how much he wanted the rivalry to die.
This isn’t to mention how it made Suge Knight look (I’m waiting for the case to reopened any day now…and I know who will be the first person they investigate. HINT: His initials are SK). It specifically portrayed Knight as someone who had a grudge against B.I.G. and Bad Boy, and was capable of orchestrating B.I.G.’s shooting. (if you watch Notorious, just keep an eye out for “red blazers”)
I’m not clearing Knight of any responsibility, because I am not in a place to judge this situation. But all I’m saying is that after watching Notorious, it made me feel like Knight played a part in the whole scenario.
Conclusion
Notorious will hit home for any rap fan growing up in the 90’s. Its great storytelling, supported by the strength of B.I.G.’s music, makes this film truly connect to its fan base. It brings you back to that fateful day, giving you flashbacks of what you were doing and how you felt when you heard the news.
Honestly, I didn’t want the film to end simply because I knew the conclusion. I wanted the movie to keep going, to continue celebrating the genius of Notorious B.I.G. The end was inevitable, but with it came the beginning of a new era of rap fans to get to know one of the greatest rappers the game has ever known.
Chris Brown and Rihanna represent of the power couples of the hip hop/r&b world. So you can imagine how distrubing it was to hear that Chris Brown is “rumored” to have assaulted Rihanna the night before the Grammys.
Ok, so here’s how the whole scenario went down, according to Billy Johnson, Jr over at Yahoo.
“According to the reports from the most reputable news sources, Brown turned himself in to authorities Sunday evening in connection with a charge of making a criminal threat. After being interviewed by police, he was released on a $50,000 bond.
Brown is being accused of assaulting a woman Sunday early morning and fleeing the scene, leaving her in a car in the Hancock Park section of Los Angeles. As a result of the issue, Brown canceled his performance at Sunday’s 51st Grammy Awards where he was nominated for two trophies, best pop collaboration for his song “No Air” with Jordin Sparks and best male R&B performance for his ballad “Take You Down.”
It is unclear whether or not his girlfriend pop star Rihanna was the victim, however, insiders are speculating that it was the “Umbrella” singer who made the 911 call to police, complaining of being attacked.
Rihanna also withdrew from her scheduled performance from the Grammys.
The couple was last seen together Saturday night when they attended the annual pre-Grammy party hosted by music veteran Clive Davis. Reports indicate that they were happy.”
Now, I can’t say whether or not this is true.
But what I can say is that no matter what happens, Chris Brown’s once squeeky-clean image now has a black mark on it. Getting into trouble with the law is one thing, but being accused of beating down a female? That’s a whole ‘nother story (see Ike Turner).
There are some things a man never should do.
1. Physically assault a woman
2. Wear skinny jeans.
3. Wear skinny jeans and stuff your iPhone in your front pocket.
4. Eat Pinkberry with other guys
5. Write an email to another guy and use :\ (just kidding, it’s ok to use these )
But Chris Brown is innocent until proven guilty. I really want to believe that he isn’t guilty of the accusations set against him.
Without him, no one will ever chew Doublemint gum.
I’ve read the reports, but I have my own theory of what happened. Check it out below.
Did Chris Brown Assault Rihanna?
And here’s a video you might want to check out (see 1:35 of the video)
Miley Cyrus in the news. Racy photos. We’ve heard it before.
But this time it’s not “professional” topless pictures of the 16-year old Disney queen (Is that even legal?) Instead, a photo has surfaced with Cyrus and friends apparently making the oh so original stereotypical “slant eye” gesture.
Cyrus has denied the intent of the picture saying, “In NO way was I making fun of any ethnicity! I was simply making a goofy face. When did that become newsworthy? It seems someone is trying to make something out of nothing to me.”
She went on to say, “Well, (I’m) sorry if those people looked at those pics and took them wrong and out of context!”
Ah, the famous words…”those people.” I suppose the picture could have been taken out of context when you were just acting goofy. Who knows, maybe the flash was really bright and they all had to squint? Gotta love Angry Asian Man’s rant on this picture. (BTW, keep up the good work over there brotha man)
Being Asian American, I took a look at the picture to see what the fuss was all about. I saw the photo, and I believe that Cyrus meant no harm. It’s not her fault, her dad IS Billy Ray Cyrus.
But taking another look at the photo, I was actually surprised that anyone could think this photo was in any way a reference to Asians. Not everyone will feel the same, so in Cyrus’ defense, I took the liberty of pointing out some things that clearly show no reason for anyone to associate this picture with anything Asian. (except for the Asian guy, which I’ll get to later)
Here’s the famous picture, with my observations. (see below for my notes)
1. It’s pretty obvious that this guy is not making fun of Asians. He’s stretching his eyes downward, not upward, which means he’s actually a Star Trek fan trying to look like Spock. Got give it up to a guy confident enough to come out of the “geek closet” and out himself as a Trekkie. (But come on, a real Trekkie would bust out the Vulcan greeting)
2. Same guy. He’s wearing a cross. We all know that the majority of Asians are Buddhist and don’t wear crosses. So, he can’t be making fun of Asians. I think this guy is just really confused. Come on, he’s wearing dogtags. I bet they say something like “Starfleet Commander” (see #1)
3. The famous Peace sign. Yes, Asians do use the Peace sign in photos, but this guy is doing the “bunny ears.” So this guy is definitely not making reference to Asians. Asians don’t do “bunny ears.”
If Asians do anything “animal-related” in photos, we’re usually hugging our Hello Kitty dolls.
And the hand-on-mouth gesture? Again, yes, Asians are famous for that (it’s a cultural thing). But by the look on his face (and on the girl’s next to him), he’s probably dealing with a little “backfire” from the girl’s “tailpipe.” (he must know about this tip to lower everyone’s blood pressure)
4. This guy is definitely not making fun of Asians. It’s painfully obvious that he has an infatuation with Robert Pattinson (of Twilight fame) and is trying to do his best impression. But he just ends up looking like a broke-ass Josh Groban instead.
5. Where do I start? First of all, I have some questions.
Dude, you’re obviously over 18 years old so why do you have an underage girl on your lap?
Oh yeah, it’s all good because you’re her “boyfriend“…
This guy isn’t making fun of Asians…he has bigger plans. He’s only 1 roofie away from executing “Operating sMiley”…
6. An Asian guy! Miley obviously can’t be racist because she is hanging out with an Asian guy…or at least let him stay after delivering the take-out…or after he fixed their computers (BTW, where’s your Geek Squad outfit?)
Sometimes I like to catch a flick and tell everyone what I thought. I’m no film critic, so please excuse me if I don’t speak in “thumbs up, thumbs down” language.
And if you close your eyes and just listen…man, he’s a dead ringer. Woolard truly embodied B.I.G., nailing the lisp and breathing patterns that so defined B.I.G. 
:\ (just kidding, it’s ok to use these 
)
