It’s time to geek out!

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is coming out on August 7, 2009…but who’s counting. It’s not like I have a countdown clock on my computer desktop or something…

Anyways, I just came across these kick ass G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra wallpapers for your computer. Raise your “geek flag” and show it off at home, or even at work. (Heck, this might finally get you on the IT Guy’s good side)

I have to admit, the costumes are a little “modern” for my taste. (Hey, I’m a purist, it’s not my fault). I was just hoping that the costumes had a more “authentic” feel to them.

Why do the uniforms have to look like the Dark Knight meets Mission Impossible meets The Matrix?

I’d be happy with some old school khaki and green. But then Tatum Channing might just look like a member of the Village People.

I do have to give some props to how the movie guys did Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow. I guess out of any of the characters, these 2 had to stay authentic. Could you imagine the uproar of fanboys if Storm Shadow was “updated”? Damn, that would not be a good day.

Here are the wallpapers. Just click on the link for your desktop size and follow the instructions to get your wallpaper.

Snake Eyes – Probably one of the sickest costume adaptations ever. Hope Ray Park goes into his Darth Maul mode.

1024 x 768 Snake Eyes Wallpaper
1280 x 1024 Snake Eyes Wallpaper

Storm Shadow – Loving the dual sword action. I can’t wait for the fight scene with Snake Eyes.

1024 x 768 Storm Shadow Wallpaper
1280 x 1024 Storm Shadow Wallpaper

Duke – I wonder how Duke would look like doing “Step Up” moves?

1024 x 768 Duke Wallpaper
1280 x 1024 Duke Wallpaper

Baroness – Hot. Period. (Jude Law, you are an idiot)

1024 x 768 Baroness Wallpaper
1280 x 1024 Baroness Wallpaper

Scarlett – I have a feeling that Redheads are going to get really popular when this movie opens…

1024 x 768 Scarlett Wallpaper
1280 x 1024 Scarlett Wallpaper

Ripcord – Not exactly the adaptation everyone was expecting (come on, the cartoon character was an entirely different ethnicity), but we can all expect some great one-liners from Marlon.

1024 x 768 Ripcord Wallpaper
1280 x 1024 Ripcord Wallpaper

Photo credits:

www.screenrant.com

I recently experienced one of the most enduring things a man can: a chick flick.

The term “chick flick” is a noun, defined in the dictionary as “torture to the male gender; kryptonite”

Yes, I admit it, I watched a chick flick. The wifey wanted to grab dinner, then watch Confessions of a Shopaholic and I agreed. I believe in the motto: You have to choose your battles wisely.

It was opening weekend, Valentine’s Day weekend, and the theatre was packed with couples celebrating Valentine’s Day and flocks of single women gathered in their “girl-power-I-don’t-need-a-man” posses.

I fell into the group of helpless men dragged against their will to endure 2 hours of whimsical musings of shopping, label whoring, and the necessary pursuit of love.

I sat down and took a quick look around, sharing knowing glances with other guys in my situation. When we made eye contact, we gave each other that defeated, “Al Bundy” look.

We were lambs fed to the lions — lambs that voluntarily entered the den even after hearing the roars of battle (which might easily be confused with anxious “oohs and ahhs” and “click-clacks” of high heels entering the theatre)

Call us lambs, call us Al Bundy. Whatever the case, we were stuck in the seats, firmly planted for the next 2 hours or so without any relief that an ESPN highlight might otherwise provide. (What I would give to see an old school replay of Kevin Johnson’s dunk on Hakeem)

If the movie wasn’t enough, I forgot about the 30 minutes of trailers that shows before each feature. It’s like grabbing a cup of coffee at the office, only to find that the courteous person before you politely left exactly half of cup for you. Sitting through the trailers felt like the 3 minutes of agony watching the pot brew.

The movie finally starts and we were instantly inundated with clothes, shoes, accessories, shops — obviously that’s all that Manhattan has to offer.

But as Shopaholic played along, there were strange noises emanating from the crowd. It was hard to tell, but it sounded like laughter. But it didn’t make sense. The tone of the laughter was too low…it couldn’t have originated from a woman. It had to be a man laughing, unless Kathleen Turner was unexpectedly in the audience.

I turned to see another guy smiling, chuckling, and turning to his partner in agreement of the onscreen happenings. This couldn’t be, because these would be signs of enjoyment. A look of disgust fell over my face, only to be washed away by an involuntary smile of my own. And without hesitation, as a perfectly timed attack on my manhood, a chuckle began to form in my chest whose public escape was only prevented by putting my hand over my mouth.

I was confused, kind of like Michael Jackson stuck in a children’s petting zoo. (get your mind out of the gutter — you pet animals, not kids)

Laughter coming from me? What?!? This couldn’t be! Was I actually entertained by the clever, witty British humor that Shopaholic offered? Or by the finely timed comedic antics of Isla Fisher? Maybe I enjoyed the onscreen chemistry between Fisher and Hugh Dancy (who ironically shares the first name of another actor he will inevitably be compared to).

Nah, don’t be fooled. We might be laughing on the outside, but on the inside we Al Bundy’s know exactly what we’re doing. We do the dinner and movie just for the dessert.

Check the strip.

Photo credits:

atrueobamanation.blogspot.com
Ehow.com
Wireimage
ContactMusic.com

Picture this. 4 comedians agree to play an unsuspecting game of tag. For 24 hours. Receiving punishment if caught. What could go wrong, right?

This is the premise of an episode of Owarai, a new Japanese variety comedy show on Hulu.com.

I received an email from Erin over at GakiAttack.com (what up Erin!) promoting the launch of Owarai on Hulu.com. Owarai consists of various “channels,” one of which is Gaki, described as the the Japanese version of Jackass.

So when I watched the clip from the 24 hour tag episode, I knew full on what to expect…guys being guys and putting themselves into blatantly masochistic situations our mommas told us not to do. Apparently, this type of action gets you PAID! (I’m sure half of the Jackass salaries went to taking the barbell out of Steve-O’s ass. Steve-O, you’re one tough MOFO!)

Side note: I must be hiding under a rock because I didn’t even know Hulu.com existed before this. There are tons of free videos to watch, including television series and full feature movies. If I go on a sudden “non-productive” streak, I know who to blame. (How did Hulu.com know about my infatuation with Robocop?!? I’ll buy that for a dollar!)

Sorry about that tangent. Back to Owarai. As a fan of Jackass, I was interested in seeing what this Gaki channel was all about. We all remember playing “tag” when we were little. But Owarai took the game to a whole different level.

24 hours. Being chased by an “it.” Receiving punishment if caught. Sounds like a bad S&M experience. But who would sign up for this…or maybe all this was in the “fine” print. (You producers are sneaky, eh? Whatever, it’s good for the ratings!)

You have to watch the clip. I love how unsuspecting these contestants are. They actually seem a little cocky and a bit too casual for what they are going to experience.

But when you watch the first “it” comes out to tag the contestants, you get this “oh sh*t” feeling, kind of like the first time you talked back to your Dad and you saw him reach for the belt. (or Taser in some cases)

What ensues is full of hilarity and random violence, always a great combination. I can’t explain why watching innocent men receive senseless beatings is so damn entertaining. For me, maybe it’s because I knew the “punishments” weren’t really going to inflict severe damage, but just enough to make these guys feel the sting. And their reactions are what brought tears to my eyes.

You can see it in their faces. The whole “fight or flight” instincts kick in, and well, let’s just say they definitely don’t fight. They almost give in and accept what’s coming to them. And that’s the funniest part — watching them attempt to escape, run out of gas, then fall to the ground and take the beating. Classic.

Each “it” comes out with a “punishment” of higher degree that makes you want to keep watching to see what it’s store for the contestants. I have my favorites, and some are just plain sick. Head butting, really?

So click here to watch the clip. I’m curious what y’all think, so please leave a comment below.

Meanwhile, check out the strip below for my take on the whole Gaki tag game.

Photo credits:
Gonemovies.com
Flixster.com
Hulu.com/gaki

Sometimes I like to catch a flick and tell everyone what I thought. I’m no film critic, so please excuse me if I don’t speak in “thumbs up, thumbs down” language.

Bottom Line: If you are a fan of B.I.G., you’ll love this film. If you’re a fan of Tupac, you’ll get a glimpse of the rapper that you might not have seen. And if you know nothing about B.I.G. or the world of 90′s rap, this will open your eyes to what was really going on.

Review

If you grew up in 90′s, hearing this should bring back some good memories…”It was all a dream, I used to read Word Up magazine…”

Ah yes, the 90′s, what I consider the Golden Age of rap. You had acts like Tupac, Ice Cube, Dr. Dre, Eazy E, Jay-Z, Nas, Tribe Called Quest, and The Fugees leading the way…trying to patch up the damage done by Vanilla Ice and MC Hammer (btw, love the Cash4Gold commercial w/MC Hammer. Priceless). And of course, Notorious B.I.G., aka Christopher Wallace.

Then, in 1996, the rap world came to a screeching halt with the shooting death of Tupac. Controversy ensued, with the whole East Coast vs. West Coast battle spiraling out of control, ending with the shooting death of Wallace.

That’s how Notorious, the biopic of Wallace’s rise to fame and ultimate untimely passing, starts off. The first scene captures the roller-coaster essence of the film — going from extreme low, to extreme high, and back down again.

What I Liked About the Film

Jamal Woolard. Wow. For a first time performance, he was on point. He might not look exactly like B.I.G., but once he puts on his shades and pin-striped suit, he’s pretty darn close. And if you close your eyes and just listen…man, he’s a dead ringer. Woolard truly embodied B.I.G., nailing the lisp and breathing patterns that so defined B.I.G.

He was probably breathing heavy because of the 30 pounds Woolard put on for the role.

The Music. Obvious aspect, but hearing B.I.G.’s tracks played while his story is told, is what really brought this film together. I wasn’t the only one. I took one look around the theatre and saw everyone’s head bobbing. This spoke volumes about the impact of B.I.G.’s music that is still felt today, or that everyone was having trouble chewing their Milk Duds. And though subtle, the scene where B.I.G. just got out of jail and laid down his first “demo” was one of the most captivating moments of the film.

The Story. There are so many questions that are still unanswered about what “really” happened behind the shootings of Tupac and B.I.G. Though the truth may still be uncertain, Notorious does its best to place all the facts on the table. At the very least, Bad Boy’s side of the story is now documented in stone. Who to believe is now up to the viewers.

The film also shows a side of B.I.G. that many probably haven’t seen — his sensitive side. He has been portrayed as a thug drug dealer, but he was much more than that. He was a big man with an ever bigger heart, which is shown when interacting with his mother (with a strong performance by Angela Bassett) and children, especially the part where he tells his daughter that she shouldn’t let any man call her a b*tch. So heartwarming.

What I Didn’t Like

Propaganda. Because Notorious was produced by B.I.G.’s mother and his two managers, and exec produced by Sean Combs the film was very biased. It almost felt like Notorious was a vehicle to exonerate B.I.G. from any foul play related to Tupac’s shooting. The film almost goes out of its way to show how bad B.I.G. felt and how much he wanted the rivalry to die.

This isn’t to mention how it made Suge Knight look (I’m waiting for the case to reopened any day now…and I know who will be the first person they investigate. HINT: His initials are SK). It specifically portrayed Knight as someone who had a grudge against B.I.G. and Bad Boy, and was capable of orchestrating B.I.G.’s shooting. (if you watch Notorious, just keep an eye out for “red blazers”)

I’m not clearing Knight of any responsibility, because I am not in a place to judge this situation. But all I’m saying is that after watching Notorious, it made me feel like Knight played a part in the whole scenario.

Conclusion

Notorious will hit home for any rap fan growing up in the 90′s. Its great storytelling, supported by the strength of B.I.G.’s music, makes this film truly connect to its fan base. It brings you back to that fateful day, giving you flashbacks of what you were doing and how you felt when you heard the news.

Honestly, I didn’t want the film to end simply because I knew the conclusion. I wanted the movie to keep going, to continue celebrating the genius of Notorious B.I.G. The end was inevitable, but with it came the beginning of a new era of rap fans to get to know one of the greatest rappers the game has ever known.

Check out the trailer below:

The budget must be pretty high for G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra because the movie’s trailer got shown during the Super Bowl yesterday.

All of us G.I. Joe fans have been waiting patiently for this movie, and it better be good. Waiting has been tough…kind of like trying to rip the hood off Cobra Commander’s action figure only to find out it’s the kid from 3rd Rock From the Sun.

To tell you the truth, after seeing this trailer, I felt like I was watching a Mission Impossible meets Transformers meets Bourne Identity meets Matrix. This might be a good thing, or a bad thing.

As you’ll see, the trailer follows the premise of “sex sells” as it mainly shows off Sienna Miller in the Baroness’ full-body leather suit. No complaints here, but come on, only 1 second devoted to Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow?!? That’s ludicrous!!!

Enough ranting. Here’s the trailer. Enjoy fanboys!

Nothing funny here. Only a hot-off-the-press picture of Snake Eyes from the upcoming live-action G.I. Joe movie (played by Ray Park – Darth Maul to you Star Wars fans). Snake Eyes is THE coolest character in the series, hands down. I don’t care what anybody has to say.

Ok, maybe Storm Shadow comes a close second. And then after that, we gotta give it up for Destro because he is just a pimp. Too bad he’s always in Cobra Commander’s shadow. Damn, just blew my “geek” cover. But if anyone says Sgt. Slaughter…

Anyone else want to chime in on their favorite character?

Enjoy the pic.

Courtesy: Paramount

Technorati Tags: g.i.+joe, snake+eyes, cartoon, gi+joe, hasbro

Slated for release on May 9, 2008, “Speed Racer” marks the Wachowski brothers’ first writing/directing collaboration since “The Matrix” movies. Joel Silver, who previously worked with the Wachowskis on “The Matrix” movies and “V For Vendetta,” is producing the film under his Silver Pictures banner.

The film stars Emile Hirsch (“Alpha Dog”) as Speed, Christina Ricci (“Black Snake Moan”) as Trixie, Matthew Fox (TV’s “Lost”) as Racer X, and Oscar winner Susan Sarandon (“Dead Man Walking”) and John Goodman (“Evan Almighty”) as Mom and Pops Racer.

Based on the classic series created by anime pioneer Tatsuo Yoshida, the live-action “Speed Racer” will showcase the kind of revolutionary visual effects and cutting-edge storytelling that have become the benchmarks of the Wachowski brothers’ films.

Based on the image of the Mach 5 alone, I have a feeling that Speed Racer is going to be a smash! Did you see the Mach 5? It is freakin’ awesome! I just hope it doesn’t look cheesy when the saws come out from the front of the car.

If Emile plays his cards right, he can leverage this film and go further into the genre. Who knows, this might become a franchise. But we won’t be able to make that prediction until we see the movie first. But if it hits like the Matrix, Emile will be in the same position as Keanu. But let’s just hope that he doesn’t make the same “great” film choices that Keanu did post-Matrix.

Check the strip…

Technorati Tags: speed+racer, emile+hirsch, keanu+reeves, wachowski, wachowski+brothers, matrix, the+matrix, mach+5, mach+go+go+go, speed+racer+movie